A naked encounter

Hamish and I decided to treat our sore bodies to some pampering after all the running around the jungle but got a little more than we bargained for...

Ayurvedic massage and healing is massive all over India but in Kerala every man and his dog seems to be offering some form of treatment. After investigating several establishments and getting ourselves the best discount we booked an appointment in a nice place and returned ready for a good pampering a few hours later.

I was led to my room, a brightly painted concrete cell with a hard bed, a plastic picnic chair and a steam bath chamber ( your head pops out the top) and was instructed to take all my clothes off.  After triple checking it seemed she really did mean ALL my clothes so I obliged pushing the thoughts of some dodgy tourist porn circuit to the back of mind. I was directed to the plastic chair in the corner where she massaged my head while I stifled giggles thinking how ridiculous the whole thing must have looked and wondering how on earth Hamish would be coping in the next door cell.

After the head massage You are transferred to the hard bed for a full body massage, on both sides- leaving little un touched (!), which was actually professionally done and not dodgy but difficult to relax through when so exposed. Half way through my lady starting asking loads of questions which was not ideal for relaxing and I soon realised she was going through the standard high school English type questions. Trying to shut her out but keep one eye open in case anything untoward should happen the minutes slowly ticked by as she massaged copious amounts of oil over my body.

You are then transferred to the steam bath cacoon, which again could be relaxing if a little Indian lady wasn't standing with her face two cms from mine, however she did mop my brow which was nice.

As it happened Hamish's experience was slightly more successful and less intrusive,  he was even given a loin cloth to maintain his dignity. A good experience to tick off but probably not one I will look to repeat any time soon!